Art Heals
The evening of July 2nd, 2024, I received a call from my primary care practitioner informing me that I had breast cancer. It was stage 1A invasive lobular carcinoma in my right breast. I’d had a needle biopsy the week prior because a radiologist saw two small masses that were “probably nothing” on an ultrasound. He ordered the procedure “just in case” so I wasn’t too worried. I was shocked at the result, to say the least. An MRI later indicated that the next step should be a unilateral mastectomy.
That first surgery was exactly one year ago today, August 29th. The pathology report after showed clear margins and no spread to lymph nodes. I was very fortunate to not require radiation or chemotherapy. Since then, I’ve had two surgeries for reconstruction.
It’s been a challenging year and my road to recovery was not easy. Through it all, making art, when I was physically able, has been a refuge. Since my diagnosis, I have created four wall sculptures that, for me, symbolize my experiences along the way.
The first was Flower of Life. I began this piece the month before my mastectomy and did not complete it until one month after surgery. I struggled coming to terms with my body after the mastectomy and was nervous about future treatment and surgeries. There was a lot of uncertainty during this period as I awaited test results. But, because I had no other choice, I faced these challenges head-on and discovered that I was a lot stronger than I thought I was.
Flower of Life - wood, paper, acrylic paint - 18” x 18” x 1.5”
Next, I made Reemergence. I completed this the beginning of November, almost exactly one month before my first reconstruction surgery on December 4th. It was the last new art I would make in 2024. While working on it, I was contemplating all of the ways that my life had suddenly changed and how scary it was. I was anxious about that next surgery as it was quite complex and would require a very difficult and lengthy recovery. I was cancer-free but so many more physical challenges awaited me.
Reemergence - mixed media - 12” x 12” x 3”
In the middle of January of this year, six weeks after that first reconstruction surgery in December, I was recovered enough to go back to my studio. I had to start slowly and first focused on a few smaller sculptures (Lilium, Rosa, and Seymour). At the same time, I worked on Ray of Sunshine. I had another surgery scheduled for April 3rd and while that recovery was not going to be nearly as complicated as the one prior, it was still going to be a lot. I was thinking about how with each surgery, I was slowly getting my body back. Though I would never look the way that I did before having a mastectomy, I was beginning to feel okay with the “new me”. I started to understand that I am not just about how I appear on the outside; real beauty comes from within and it radiates through everything that I create and bring into the world.
Ray of Sunshine - wood, paper, acrylic paint - 16” x 14” x 2”
The final work in this series, completed last month, is Shining Through. While creating this sculpture I was back to doing all of my favorite physical activities at the level I was at prior to my surgeries and feeling good both physically and mentally. When it was finished a year had passed since my diagnosis. I truly felt like I had made it out the other side.
I cannot believe how much I have been through in the past thirteen months. Although my journey is not quite complete - I am having one more minor reconstruction surgery next month and will continue to test and monitor for recurrence over the next five years - I finally feel like myself again. I’m a survivor and so grateful for how my art has helped get me here.
Shining Through - mixed media - 20” x 16” x 2.5”
One final note, the type of cancer I had is not the kind that forms a hard lump that is easy to feel. I had two mammograms, an ultrasound, and a needle biopsy before I got my diagnosis. My cancer was caught early and, as a result, I had a very good outcome. Women over the age of 40, if you have never had a mammogram or it’s been more than a year since your last, I encourage you to schedule an appointment now. Early detection saves lives!